From: Nolan McCaskill
Sent: Saturday, April 30, 2016 11:59 PM
To: Velz, Peter T. EOP/WHO
Subject: Pool report #7
The president's motorcade left the Washington Hilton at 11:07 p.m. and returned to the White House at 11:11 p.m. after delivering remarks at the White House Correspondents' Dinner.
POTUS spoke for roughly 32 minutes, addressing many of the candidates looking to succeed him. Below is a list of some of his jokes (please check against the final White House transcript):
On the future of the WHCD: "It is an honor to be here at my last - and perhaps the last - White House Correspondents' Dinner. You all look great. The end of the republic has never looked better."
On Hillary Clinton: "Here we are, my eighth and final address at this unique event, and I am excited. If this material works well, I'm going to use it for Goldman Sachs."
After praising Clinton: "You've got to admit, though, Hillary trying to appeal to young voters is a little bit like your relative just signing up to Facebook. ...'Did you get my poke?'... 'I'm not sure I'm using this right. '" He also called her "Aunt Hillary."
On Sanders: "Bernie, you look like a million bucks - or we'll put it in terms you'll understand: You look like 37,000 donations of $27."
On Trump: "I am a little hurt that he's not here tonight. We had so much fun the last time. And it is surprising. We've got a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras, and he says no. Is this dinner too tacky for The Donald? What could he possibly be doing instead? Sitting at home eating a Trump Steak, tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel?"
On Cruz: "Ted had a tough week. He went to Indiana - Hoosier country - stood on a basketball court and called a hoop a 'basketball ring.' What else is in his lexicon? Baseball sticks? Football hats? But sure, I'm the foreign one."
On Kasich: "Some candidates aren't polling high enough to qualify for their own jokes tonight." (Images of Kasich eating were displayed.)
On GOP: "Just look at the confusion over invitations to tonight's dinner. Guests were asked to check whether they wanted steak or fish, but instead a whole bunch of you wrote in Paul Ryan."
On RNC: "GOP Chairman Reince Priebus is here as well. Glad to see that you feel that you've earned a night off. Congratulations on an already successful Republican Party nominating process. It's all going great."
On the media: "I don't want to spend too much time on Donald. Following your lead, I'm going to show some restraint, because I think we can all agree that from the start he's gotten the appropriate amount of coverage befitting of the seriousness of his candidacy. You all ought to be proud of yourselves."
POTUS concluded his remarks with: "Obama out" and a microphone drop.
White House has called a lid.
Nolan D. McCaskill
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